I didn't want to test as this one, because I had tested as an INFP when I was in middle school, a time I don't enjoy remembering. I like to believe that I had changed by then, so that I can dispel this dark time when I felt so inferior as no longer being a part of me. I didn't want to believe that my personality then and now had not changed. But that didn't happen. No matter how much I tested, how many tests I took, the results (save for the one below) were the same. How could this make sense?! I had changed so much since then, I had become far more extraverted, less dark, less emotional, how could this not show up in my results?!
So I began reading extensive amounts of INFP personality profiles (you typically don't want to draw from one source only). It wasn't just my curiosity, it was a drive. A drive to understand myself, to understand why I did not think like everyone else, why even when I try to conform to my peer's standards, I always end up feeling dissatisfied and reverting, why there is always this nagging in me, these feelings that drive me away from certain things and gravitate me to others, that I can't explain. What are these feelings? Why are they there?
It turns out these are TENDANCIES. I recently saw a video of an INFP's confession of his feelings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPX0FzZHqpM&feature=related
There were a few points as a fellow INFP that I could relate to (based on his expression and way of talking).
- Can't find the right words to talk
- Hypersensitive to criticism (I try not to let it show, but through a smiling face, there's the sharp throb through my chest)
- Need to define myself
- Wondering if defining myself will limit myself
- When I read the descriptions of an INFP, I thought, "Whoa, is this based on me?"
I could completely relate to him. If you're looking at this, I want you to know I understand you. If it seems like so few people understand you, I do!
But some days, when I feel especially good, happy, maybe the sun is shining, maybe I'm with my friends, maybe I ate too much sugar for my own good, then I suddenly transform into... ENFP!!!!! (I'm listening to Till the World Ends right now by the way).
In which case, I start acting like this guys:
Some similarities that I find include...
- What was I talking about again?...
- Sugar high
- Love of bananas
- Lots of facial expressions, some totally unnecessary, but totally fun ~
- Amused by things I'm not "supposed" to be amused by
- Extreme hyperactivity
- Enthusiasm
- Not really good with words, but love talking anyway. (If the guy in that video is looking at this, that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy listening to you rant like I do lol xD)
- Totally Lol at anything and everything
This is getting to be too much writing again. I'm afraid some people like me who like to skip paragraphs will be discourages, so I'll talk about my analysis of all this in my next post. There's not a lot of you out there who's looking at this probably, but I'll be back with more later! (Once I'm out of the dangerous firestorm of work that is University of British Columbia bye bye~)
